Get out your checkbooks, ’90s kids, because the iconic house that the Windows 95 maze screensaver was based on is now officially on the market. This northwest Washington chateau has been owned by Ron Fletcher for 30 years, but he’s looking to downsize from this winding, windowless labyrinth—which means some lucky buyer is going to own an iconic piece of computer history!
The sprawling home has over 12, 000 square feet of floor space, although the actual area can change drastically each time you enter the house, as all the paper-thin brick walls instantly reset at random every time you run into one of the countless yellow, smiling orbs that adorn the home. Just like you remember!
Ron Fletcher has even made a walkthrough video so potential buyers can get a sense of the space:
“Everything from the screensaver is in this house, ” said Fletcher. “There are those giant, frozen-in-time rats that will appear at random in the house. I don’t know where they come from, but they make the worst noises, like a car crash happening underwater. Also, utilities are low because a temperate, howling wind blows through this endless maze-house at all times, keeping it at a comfortable 65.”
If you were the kid who couldn’t wait for the computer to idle long enough so you could enter the expansive world of the 3D maze screensaver, you will not be disappointed with this house. The limestone moldings are all original, and those black crystals that turn the entire maze completely upside down so you can walk on the ceiling? This house has ’em all!
“My son is in there somewhere. Nine years ago he ran ahead of me, and I lost track of him somewhere in the brick maze, ” said Fletcher. “I could hear his laughter, it always sounding like he was around the next corner, but I could never catch up to him. You can still hear his laughter echoing around the labyrinth. If you find my son, I want him back. I just want to see his face again..”
“There is plenty of room for a breakfast nook, ” added Fletcher. “Potentially thousands of breakfast nooks, as this maze has no limits as far as I can tell. Please take this home off my hands. I can no longer discern waking life from nightmare. I just want my old life back. I just want my son.”
Are you going to be the next lucky owner of this treasured piece of ’90s culture? Better act fast, because this hot property won’t be around for long!
RutlandMum
Lomax+Wood
To many people, including me, window coverings fall under the heading of furnishings, which are subject to personal taste. My house had hideous curtains and I promptly trashed them as soon as I got the keys to the house.
Adonis: Yes, my real name is Maria and I'm a sizzling hot latina with good taste, so you're not the only one blessed with good DNA. Yes, I paraded around for a few days exposing my Venus like body to the neighbors and then I went out and bought venetian blinds and curtains that were more in keeping with my high standards.